Raising Successful Children - 50 Ways to Bring Out Your Child's Best

By Thomas Armstrong (celebrated educationist, psychologist & author)

As an anonymous observer once said:  "All children are gifted, some just open
their packages later than others."

You can play a crucial role in awakening latent talents or developing current strengths through experiences you give  your child at home.

Here are 50 ways for you to bring out your child's
best, regardless of how his gifts are packaged:

1. Let your child discover her own interests. Pay attention the activities
she chooses. This free-time play can say a lot about where her gifts lie.

2. Expose your child to a broad spectrum of experiences. They may
activate latent talents. Don't assume that he isn't gifted in an area
because he hasn't shown an interest.

3. Give your child permission to make mistakes. If she has to do things
perfectly, she'll never take the risks necessary to discover and develop a
gift.

4. Ask questions. Help your child open up to he wonders of the world by
asking intriguing questions: Why is the sky blue? Find the answers
together.

5. Plan special family projects. Shared creativity can awaken and develop
new talents.

6. Don't pressure your child to learn. If children are sent to special
lessons every day in the hope of developing their gifts, they may become too
stressed or exhausted to shine. Encourage, but don't push.

7. Have high expectations. But make them realistic.

8. Share your work life. Expose your child to images of success by taking
him to work. Let him see you engaged in meaningful activities and allow him
to become involved.

9. Provide a sensory-rich environment. Have materials around the home that
will stimulate the senses: finger paints, percussion instruments, and
puppets.

10. Keep your own passion for learning alive. Your child will be influenced
by your example.

11. Don't limit your child with labels. They may saddle her with a
reputation that doesn't match her inner gifts.

12. Play games together as a family.

13. Have a regular family time for reading, listening to music, talking.

14. Have reference materials available to give your child access to the
world.

15. Allow your child to participate in community activities that interest
her.

16. Use humor, jokes, silly stories to encourage creativity.

17. Don't criticize or judge the things your child does. He may give up on
his talents if he feels evaluated.

18. Play with your child to show your own sense of playfulness.

19. Share your successes as a family. Talk about good things that happened
during the day to enhance self-esteem.

20. Provide your child with access to a home, school or public library
computer.

21. Listen to your child. The things he cares about most may provide clues
to his special talents.

22. Give your child a special space at home to be creative.

23. Praise your child's sense of responsibility at home when she completes
assigned chores.

24. Visit new places as a family.

25. Give your child open-ended playthings. Toys like blocks and puppets
encourage imaginative play.

26. Give your child unstructured time to simply daydream and wonder.

27. Share inspirational stories of people who succeeded in life.

28. Don't bribe your child with rewards. Using incentives to get children
to perform sends a message that learning is not rewarding in its own right

29. Suggest that your child join peer groups that focus on her gifts.

30. Discuss the news to spark interests.

31. Discourage gender bias. Expose your child to both feminine and
masculine toys and activities.

32. Avoid comparing your child to others. Help your child compare himself
to his own past performance.

33. Be an authoritative parent.

34. Use community events and institutions to activate interests. Take trips
to the library, museums, concerts, plays.

35. Give presents that nourish your child's strengths.

36. Encourage your child to think about her future. Support her visions
without directing her into any specific field.

37. Introduce your child to interesting and capable people.

38. Think of your home as a learning place. The kitchen is great for
teaching math and science through cooking.

39. Share feelings. A child's gifts can be stifled by repressed emotions.

40. Encourage your child to read.

41. Honor your child's creations.

42. Do things with your child in his areas of interest.

43. Teach your child to trust her intuition and believe in her capabilities.

44. Give your child choices. It builds willpower and fuels initiative.

45. Show your child how to use books to further an interest.  For example-
"how to" books for the "hands-on" learner.

46. Set  aside an area of the house for displaying creations and awards.

47. Encourage your child to tackle areas that are difficult for him. Help
him learn to confront any limitations.

48. Be a liaison between your child's special talents and the real world.
Help her find outlets for her talents.

49. Introduce children's literature that honors and develops gifts. Books
like the Little Engine That could encourage a "can do" attitude.

50. Accept your child as he or she is.

Guidelines on choosing programs

Some insights on choosing programs

1.     Exposure not Experts - Use programs as a way to give exposure not make experts out of children: Many of us in our enthusiasm of putting the child in a class start focusing on the result too much. This takes fun out of doing something. They need not become champions or a show piece in social gathering.

2.     Popular isn't always the best - we all know it - yet we run after it. We know that what is popular isn't always the best. The quite lady who runs a simple painting class down the lane might be much better than a branded high profile class - for a lot of things are simply packaged in a much more glossy way. It is hence the onus of us parents to look beyond the brochures, physical space and international affiliations (read packaging) and actually understand the conceptual depth the programs.

3.     Self Esteem is critical - In the eagerness to teach, to show results, a lot of classes actually harm the child self dignity, putting them, comparing different children, holding competitions that only show a child what worth he/she is not. While we do not intend to be critical of other programs, we are just too sensitive for a child's self esteem and hence are highlighting this aspect as a key aspect you should look for in the trainers / teachers

4.      Continuity v/s Trial - A lot of parents get dismayed that their children start a class and then leave it. It is perhaps very natural for a child to show enthusiasm at the beginning and later on, based on any reason, the same gets dwindled. Apart from monetary loss, many a times we start blaming the child for this. Just a reminder of how many times you as an adult have started something (say exercise / morning walk and given it all up :-) It is very natural for all of us to shift focus midway - remember whatever exposure your child got is good for him or her. Let not continuity become a torture, yet if child is willing, go the whole hog

5.     Am I learning too: So if you are going to put the child into some classes - see if you can sign up yourself for the classes too. It’s not necessary that we learn the same thing, we could ourselves join another class, but when we start formally learning something, it brings a lot of humbleness into us, a lot of acceptance of errors and discomfort that learning brings, and a lot of respect for the learner's efforts. Highly recommended!

      

Do you need IQ Test? No Thank Q.

The average intelligence test only focuses on the verbal, visual, and mathematical skills of the student; it can hardly be considered an accurate interpretation of a student's real intelligence level.

Dr. Gardner defined intelligence as consisting of three components:
- Ability to create an effective product or service that is valuable to one's culture
- Set of skills that enables an individual to solve problems encountered in life
- Potential for finding or creating solutions for problems, which enables a person to acquire new knowledge
Dr. Gardner, who has become a world-renowned authority on the topic of MI, derived this theory based on extensive brain research, as well as interviews, tests, and research on hundreds of individuals.
His conclusions became the foundation for his MI theory in that intelligence is not one inborn fixed trait that dominates all a student's skills or problem-solving abilities, but rather each person has different parts of their brains that may be more highly developed than other parts.
While these different parts of the brain are interconnected, they may work independent or in concert to help a student learn depending on the educational environment and the child's preferred intelligences.
With this in mind, Dr. Gardner identified eight different Intelligences that every person would have, to varying degrees. These intelligences are verbal/linguistic, math/logical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalist.

- Albert Einstein was four years old before he could speak and seven before he could read.
- Beethoven's music teacher once said of him, "As a composer, he is hopeless".
- A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney because he had "no good ideas".
- Abraham Lincoln entered the Black Hawk War as a captain and came out as a private.
- Thomas Edison's teachers told him he was too stupid to learn anything.
- And last, but not least, Louisa May Alcott was told by an editor that she would never write anything that had popular appeal.